Parents know everything they know, they know that you want to do it with a child who refused to hear: it is angry.
But after years Study of more than 200 parental relationsI noticed something interesting: Parents who are rare in rare parents do not endanger the bribes or harsh consequences. They use the language that makes children in practice.
Traditional parent phrases (“Suspicuously” or “If you don’t do it, then …”) often run a child’s flight, fly or fly, not qualified, not competent, not prestigious. However, when we switch to a language that respects the autonomy of the child, it will still hold the border and cooperate natural.
On my basis explorationand from exercise Healthy habits With my son, there are five words phrases here – and what to say instead.
1. Never: “Because I said that.”
What to say instead: “I know you don’t like this solution. I will explain and then move forward. “
Why it works: “Because I said that,” teaches it, “turns off and blindly obeying the relationship. But briefly helping your mind briefly, even in a short time helps your child to enjoy yourself.
You don’t think or disagree – you are sampled for leadership with respect. These phrases acknowledge their feelings and confirm that you are quiet, you are without lots.
2. Never say: “If you don’t listen (no advantage).
What to say instead: “If you are ready (x real behavior) we can do (the desired action x).
Why it works: Risks causing to meet, as they make children with protection mode. This phrase replaces the power dynamics: it stores your intermediate firm, if you are ready to meet with the child agency. You don’t solve the threshold – you remove the struggle.
3. Never say, “stop crying.” You’re good.
What to say instead: “I see you really hurt. Tell what’s going on. “
Why he works: Denying the boy’s emotions They teach that their feelings are wrong or too much. Emotional failure leads to distinguishing, and disconnected children do not cooperate.
When a child hears, they calm down quickly and trust you more.
4. Never: “How many times do you have to tell you?”
Tell instead of: “I have asked it several times. To help me understand that it has been difficult for you.
Why it works: This anger assumes that the child is intentionally difficult. Often, opposing, it’s really like confusion, distinguishing or backwardness. The light will solve the problem instead of collateral – and it will be rooted to the root.
5. Never: “You know better than you.”
Tell instead of: “There is something for yourself right now. Let’s talk about it. “
Why he works: “You know well”, you know the boy well and questions about their loyalty.
But the alternative sentence represents a change in mind – from punishment to partnership. He thinks the best in your child and calls for self-expression instead of protection. He says “I believe you, and I came to help”.
A real secret to listen to children
This is not about tracking your child’s behavior – it’s about creating conditions that feel natural.
Children are prospering when they be able to respect them, Emotionally safe and participates in the process. These phrases change, it’s not just linguistic tweets – they change how we look deeper in our parents. Instead of not to be angry with safety, we start to see it as a signal: Connect, clarity or emotional support.
When we respond to compassion and leadership, we will reduce the fight against the fight and grow the children who believe in us, regulate themselves easily and grow Emotional stability adults.
Reem rauda The leading vote of grain parents and the Creator Foundations – The transformational therapeutic magazine for parents is ready to break cycles, perform internal work and meet the needs of the child. It is widely known for its underlying work to strengthen the emotional security and parental communication of children. Continue it Instagram.
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